Bagagge App

The Baggage App may allow you to ‘check’ your luggage and store it safely where you can access it at any point. The Baggage App won’t change your circumstances, but it can help carry your emotional load. It is a safe space for you to store your emotional baggage and process it. It is somewhere you can come back to and unpack what you are holding, sit with it and repack it for safe keeping.

Next stage please....

I am heading into a time of uncertainty and I am not sure if my emotional numbness this week is a defence mechanism or a submission to ‘whatever will be, will be’. We all have ways of dealing with stress and seeing as I have already gone through my wallowing stage (last week’s blog) I must now be in the denial stage. This stage is actually quite pleasant and calm compared to the emotional chaos of the previous one. I just hope I have not swapped a sad wallowing for a delusional wallowing; although it is still a nice change none the less.

Of course it could be my new vitamins and meditation regime helping me cope, but I have doubts that they are having that big an effect so quickly; especially since my meditation can hardly be defined as a regime; having only attempted it twice. The only other thing could be that I have been taking my vitamins at a dangerously high dose and they are creating a euphoric effect – just went and checked (with my glasses on) and no; I am fine with my dosage.

So is it denial, am going through some sort of grieving process and then naturally going through the different stages? What’s next; anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance? So what am I grieving? Is it my identity through my employed work (still not at work yet) or is it deeper than that? Is it more about my perception of who I am? I am 47yrs old, and until a few weeks ago, felt pretty young. Now my body has me hobbling around my home looking like I have shit my pants; this new gait shouldn’t last forever, but it has me feeling (and looking) a lot older.

Okay, if I am grieving my youth, my identity and my body; the next stages should be very interesting! Right now, I will just enjoy the floaty feeling of denial and warm nothingness of today… for tomorrow I prepare to rage against the world (or a least write an angry journal entry). 

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