As I am sitting here on a Sunday evening waiting for my pizza delivery (yes my inner child won again), I am left to think about the week ahead. I am going to be home from work for the week, due to an unforeseen work injury – this is where I should be able to say I was saving someone or something just as heroic. But alas, I am at home with bilateral knee injuries after plugging in my mobile phone at work – yes I am a hero! Last year I had similar time off work after I fell over a pot plant going out the back for lunch. I think there is a pattern here…. and clearly I need to avoid work. Arghhh the joys of my body getting older; but it does have me realising that there are now things that are definitely out of my future; I will never be able to ski or mountain climb or tap dance. I don’t know if I wanted to seriously do any of those things, but not to have the choice now, well it just feels odd and humbling, in a weird sort of way.
I suppose my future always felt limitless, like if I wanted to; I could find a way to do something. Now I feel I have been imposed limits and I don’t like it. Realistically my body, even at 28yrs would NOT have done well at extreme sports (not that I am saying tap dancing is an extreme sport). I am short, roundish and as it is becoming more and more evident with each passing year; not built for speed. I did love to dance when I was younger though, not in a classically trained sort of way – more of an intoxicated, liberated, wild thing way. I am sad about the prospect that I won’t be able to let go of all my stresses, through my version of interpretive ‘free spirit’ dancing ever again.
How am I going to move forward with these newly imposed limits; and was I even using my knees to their full advantage before this? The wasted opportunities, the stairs I could have run up and down, the squats I could have completed…. Okay who am I kidding; my body probably sacrificed my knees due to redundancy.