Comfort vs Discomfort
I am sitting here on a long weekend and procrastinating doing my post grad studies…. ahh feels like I am back to my old routine. So it makes me reflect on how often I slip back into other comfortable routines in my life? How often do I sit in the uncomfortable and challenge myself to move through it? I think with the ‘obvious’ stuff, like facing my childhood trauma’s; I am like a warrior, ready to not only sit with it, but embrace and ‘hug’ the shit out that discomfort until it becomes a different normal in my life. BUT what about the other areas of my life that I let just slip through, without a second glance? How often have I started a ‘health kick’ or promised myself I would make my art practice a priority, to all too quickly wake up on the second day and be lured into the comfort of predicable, safe discomfort?
Am I aiming for too much comfort, maybe we all need the discomfort to motivate us for change? OR is that an excuse to slip back into my discomfort corner and sit on the uncomfortable naughty chair and reflect on my disquiet? And then I feel guilty about being so self-indulgent; to have the luxury of complaining about being too lazy to paint/sculpt/print….
Then I circle back to thinking; am I using first world guilt as an excuse to justify my inability to move through my discomfort? I think I am obligated to make the most of my life, to take advantage of the opportunities around me. I understand all too well that my life could have taken a different path. I am grateful for choices I can make and not make and complain about needing to make. So here I am sitting in front of my computer, still not doing my uni studies and still not doing any art. I am drinking an herbal tea though; but I am thinking about the bag of potato chips in the cupboard, which I am sure I will reward myself with very shortly (for having written my blog).
The challenge between seeking comfort and balancing the discomfort continues, but I suppose that is what life is about. I do not want to be too comfortable all the time, but I want my discomfort to propel me out of my comfort zone like a hot cramp in my little toe in the middle of the night. Maybe my earlier trauma has desensitised me from niggling discomforts and have made me immune to my current emotional ‘cramps’. Isn’t salt an old remedy for cramps? What has a lot of salt… yep that bag of chips is medicinal!
Happy balancing and remember to be kind to yourself.